Paul's Obituary - To run in the Vancouver Sun, The Province & the North Shore News on Wednesday, Oct 15, 2003

Paul Norman John Cousins : March 16, 1982 - October 6, 2003 : North Vancouver, BC

On October 4, 2003, ‘Paully’, 21, jumped what became his last sunset skydive at Lodi Field near Sacramento, California. He had found this new passion most recently, and effusively expressed that it gave his life a “whole new dimension”. He sustained grave injuries, fighting tenaciously to stay with us until his parents could reach him, and we are thankful for his valiant efforts. He received the finest possible medical heroics at UC Davis Medical Center, succumbing to his injuries on October 6, 2003.

Paul was a college student, and took the summer to discover himself before committing to his future life pursuits. His passing will leave his family and wonderful friends living on with countless powerful memories of the amazing young man that he had become. His 6’5” athletic self will be noticeably absent. His qualities of friendship, fairness, inclusiveness, self-reliance, and compassion will live in our memory. His passion for ‘living life big’ was infectious. We will remember your mantra Paul … “It’s all good”.

Paul excelled at soccer and leaves his team missing a fine striker. He played many and any sport and brought his great athletic ability to them all. He had a searching mind and a thirst for knowledge, which he explored inquisitively with many; always anxious to expand his intellectual horizons. His love of ‘flying high’ just might have begun while he was a member of the 106 Thunderbird Air Cadet Squadron.

Paul is survived by his father, Richard J. Cousins, his mother Jan(et) L Cousins (Martin), sisters Allison Jayne, 23 and Adrienne Elizabeth, 16; brother Simon Richard Martin, 13; Grandmothers Margaret Martin and Gwendoline Cousins, Uncles Gordon Martin and wife Darlene, Bryan Martin and wife Marilyn, ‘Auntie’ Sheila and husband Emile, and cousins Tracey, Nicole, Cathy, Pamela and Carla and their husbands and children.

A Memorial Service will be held Thursday, October 16 at 2pm at Willingdon Church, 4812 Willingdon Avenue, Burnaby: Reception immediately following in the Church Hall. Refreshments will be provided. There will be an open mic for those who wish to share their stories.

Blue Skies Forever boy…We Love You!

Message from Mom & Dad (Jan & Richard) - Wednesday October 8th

Dear Family and Friends of the Cousins Clan

Richard and I have felt so supported on our difficult journey with Paul. From the phone call, through the drive to Seattle, the flight to Sacramento, the long hours that we were with Paul while he fought so valiantly for his life, the closure when his battle ended, you were with us and our wonderful Allison, Adrienne and Simon. We want you to know that this is the worst walk of our life and it would have been intolerable without the loving efforts, energy and prayers from all those who have shown their abundant love; those who know and love Paul and family, and those who never met him but still had love and prayers for us. From the depths of our heart we thank you all. Look for Paul in the skys he loved so passionately...and remember his words, "It's all good".

Link to the Province article: http://www.canada.com/search/story.aspx?id=3154d804-89f3-4e7c-a782-96b8bdcf1048

Loving appreciation, Jan, Richard, Allison, Adrienne, Simon and ....our Paul

Message from Paul's Little Sister(Adrienne) - Wednesday October 8th

Dear Friends,

My eldest brother, Paul, passed on this Monday morning, after a skydiving accident in California. We believe he stayed with us long enough after the accident to hear our last words. Despite Paully's unconcious condition, when the nurse held the phone to his ear, he reportedly breathed over the resperator upon hearing our voices. He had the same response while being read the numerous emails sent to him through the website that my sister, Allison, set up. In talking to him, I recalled the first time my big bro laughed at one of my lil' comedie routines. Having recieved that respone from Paul, who can make anyone laugh, I knew that I was funny. I call the routine 'Chicken' and I know he was laughing as I reminded him of it.

Thank you to everyone who wrote to him. My Mom and Dad read your thoughts to him. Thank you to those of you who have taken time from your busy lives to visit and to pray. Thank you to those of you who dropped food off and helped clean the house. Your efforts, as well as our faith in the good Lord, have kept us comforted. Paul has already let us know that he doesn't like us talking about the pain he felt or anything negative, which has us believe that he didn't feel any pain. He doesn't mind us crying. Infact, when I cry, I feel closest to him.

This email is meant to bring awarness to Paul's passing, in celebration of the wonderful life he lived and the many hearts he touched. My heart has been opened up to the bigger picture of Paully's life and passing, and that leaves the smaller, uplifting details distant at times. Therefore, if you have even the smallest memory or thought of Paul, I couldn't happier then if you were to email it to me. Some of your thoughts might be shared at his memorial service, which, by the way, is going to be a blast, for that, my family agrees, is how Paul wants it. Otherwise, if you don't want what you say to be shared with anyone but myself and Paul, just specify that in your email, and I will use it simply as something to read to comfort me now and for some time to come. Some ideas are as follows: write a poem, just say hi, say a prayer, remember a favorite song of his, write about a joke he told you, write about a joke he laughed at, write about a memory you have of him, even if you only met him for a moment, write about a feeling, piece of advice, or kind word he shared with you, etc. I just want to capture the dynamic being that he was, and your thoughts can help.

Lastly, I have not been much of an msn/email user, and I don't have a lot of contacts, so I would appreciate if you would send this to anyone you feel fit. I'm sorry if you're hearing about this news for the first time and I thank others of you for your efforts. You can read about Paully on the website that I mentioned earlier @ www.reximage.com/paul and in the Wednesday October 8 issue of the Province newspaper on page A8.

I thought I was done, but I'm not... Paul, thank you for all that you shared and understood. Thank you for laughing with me. Thank you for laughing at me. Thank you for putting me in my place. Thank you for supporting me in whatever I was most passionate about. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for making me feel protected, but free. Thank you for driving me everywhere. Thank you for the morning cuddles (yes, I said cuddles). Thank you for your big sloppy kisses in front of all your friends (when I see you again, I'll recieve them more willingly). Thank you for your sincere apologies. Thank you for taking me for drives when I needed to get out of the house. Thank you for listening to me sing, and loving it. Thank you for telling me to "Do it up!" when it came to anything that I pondered trying. Thank you for respecting me and telling me I was beautiful. Thank you for letting me make a complete fool of myself. Thank you for giving me bites of your food, even though you hated to. Thank you for saying, "Dam dogg, we always have such good conversations," the last time we talked.Thank you for being so smart.Thank you for asking my advice about what to wear.Thank you for loving my friends. Thank you for buying me KFC. Thank you for going to the gym with me. Thank you for being so strong. Thank you for your beautiful soul that, without your knowing, worked at keeping healthy so many people would benefit(Paul donated his organs). Thank you, thank you, thank you...

Thank you Lord for my brothers beautiful smile. Thank you for his compassion. Thank you for the wonderful relationship that the whole family was so blessed to have with him. Thank you for comforting me and continuing to teach me of the greater things in life through all of this. Thank you for helping me see that this is a blessing. Thank you for thinking my brother worthy a soul to touch as many lives as he did. Thank you for the reunion with many of my friends and family. Thank you, thank you, thank you...Amen.

Paul's Fight...

Tuesday October 7th - 12:00pm Due to an unexpected massive bleed, Paul lost blood supply to his brain and there was nothing more that doctors could do for him. Paul amazed doctors with his strength and courage. We were told that he should not have made it to the trauma unit. We know that Paul fought as hard as he could and it was only when he knew that he couldn't come back to us as he was that he let go.

We are so thankful to all of you for your thoughts and prayers. My Mom & Dad want to acknowledge you all for your love and support. You truly can't understand how much strength it provides.

Monday October 6th - 3:00pm Paul has had severe swelling in his brain. After discussion between Dr. Lee (the determined head trauma doctor), Dr. McTaggart (our wonderful family doctor), my parents and my self, a decision to let Paul fight on his own has been made. If Paul is meant to stay here with us, he has 48 hours to fight. At this point, the doctors say that if they were able to save his life (which they aren't sure that they could do) Paul would be severely brain damaged. This is not a fate that he would choose.

Having said that, miracles are welcome. If you have it in you to pray for one, it's up to Paul and God now. Please pray for my parents who are down there with Paul.

Monday October 6th - 12:15pm There is no update except to say that Paul is still fighting. KEEP PRAYING PLEASE! Every prayer helps.

Monday October 6th - 10:00am We need your prayers now, more than ever. Paul is still alive but he has had a FULL RIGHT HEMISPHER (brain) stroke due to (they think) the week aorta not providing blood flow to his brain stem. He is in an MRI right now and, if he pulls through, we don't know what his mental condition will be.

WE NEED YOUR PRAYERS NOW. PLEASE YELL THEM OUT! We need prayers for his life and his healthy brain.

Monday October 6th - 6:30am Paul's condition is still listed as gravely critical. He is still unconcious in the ICU. We received encouraging news from my Mom...

• His drainage from the chest and pelvis is diminishing and the colour is less bright red and more serous or amber
• His hemoglobin is up to 9 and holding....it has been as low as 6...normal is about 12 - 14
• His kidneys are putting out a bit more urine than the previous 12 hours
• His level of consciousness is slightly increased (some increase in breath over of the respirator) and they will give him more sedation to lower it
• He needed 2 units of blood as opposed to 6 the previous 12 hours

Paul will require repair of his pelvis – the orthopedic surgical is standing by for the ok from the Trauma team who consider that Paul is still in resuscitation. He will require repair of his aorta and the Cardio-Thoracic surgical team are awaiting the ok from Trauma to proceed. They will need to put him on the heart lung bypass to do this and will likely need to use artificial graft material since his vessels in his legs (often used for auto-grafting) are impaired due to his pelvic injuries. In oder for him to have the aorta repair, his pelvis should be stabalized since the positioning for the chest surgery would strain the alignment of an unstable pelvis. Each bridge that Paul meets, he crosses. We are encouraging him to continue crossing the many bridges in front of him.

Sunday October 5th - 8:20pm We have some encouraging news. The doctors found one site of major blood loss and were able to fix it. After repair, Paul's blood pressure rose to normal on his own and now they have given him medication to lower his blood pressure in order to take pressure off the damaged vessels. He is in his room tonight, still on 24 hour watch in ICU. Paul is, by no means, out of the woods but we are encouraged by all of the hurdles that Paul overcomes. His strenght is a HUGE asset. Doctors have used words like "remarkable" to describe him...like we didn't already know! We have been cautioned that this is a 'two steps forward, one step back' kind of journey but I will say that my Mom (who was a critical care nurse years ago) sounded much more assured during our last call. Mom, Dad and the nurse tending to Paul were all sure that they heard Paul take a breath over the respirator...in other words, without assistance. Keep up your prayers. They are working!

A BRIGHT NOTE: To quote one of Simon's 14 year old friends..."He fell out of a plane and is still alive?!? That's one tough valet parker!" We all had a giggle break so thought we'd share it.

Sunday October 5th - 5:45pm Paul started to lose more blood and was rushed for another CT and abdominal angioplasty. We assume the bleeding has been controlled since he is now on his way back to his bed in the ICU. His has an ortho-pelvic girdle to stablize his pelvis, which should prevent further nerve and/or vessel damage in the pelvic area. He's overcome another hurdle and every minute passed is a step in the right direction.

Sunday October 5th - 10:00am Paul has suffered two broken legs, a shattered pelvis and severe internal bleeding. He is on a respirator and is in intensive care where he has a nurse within arms reach, 24 hours a day. The bleeding has been slowed. He has has undergone a CT of his brain and chest cavity as well scan and abdominal angioplasty. The CT shows that there is minimal bleeding in his brain...a very good sign. Another positive sign is that the doctors have pinned and splinted his legs. The major source of concern is stablizing his pelvis at this point.